Oh Orly: Week of November 17

Oh Orly,

I want to meet someone and be in a serious relationship. Do youknow how I can meet a good person?

Barbara M.

Bay Ridge, Brooklyn

Hi Barbara,

I get this question quite often so first, I would like to tellyou that you are not alone. Secondly, I want to ask you: Do youknow what you want out of a relationship?

You see, Barbara, most people know what they don’t want and theykeep on focusing on the don’t wants. I suggest you make a list ofwhat you want in a relationship, given that chemistry is there andlooks are out of the equation.

Here is an example: I want someone nice, generous, kind, with agreat sense of humor. We communicate well and are understanding ofeach other’s needs and differences. We respect each other. We havethe same interests and have fun whatever we do. I make him happyand he makes me happy, etc.

When you are writing, don’t put any of the don’t wants, forexample, I don’t want a smoker. Replace it with I want anon-smoker. I suggest you don’t focus on any of the don’t wantsand be very clear on what you want.

After you have written your list of what a good relationship lookslike to you, put it aside and see what happens. I promise that ifyou do this right, you won’t be single for very long. I would liketo hear from you.

All for the best,

Smiles ?

Orly