Beating Cancer in Heels: How not to feel so alone

The day I was diagnosed with cancer at age 25, my closest friends came over to try to uplift my spirits. It felt great to know that I was going to have a large support team through this time in my life, or so I thought! (But I will discuss that another time.)

They managed to make me smile when all I wanted to do was cry. However, when it came time for them to leave my apartment, I quickly realized that they were going home to their “normal” lives and I had to deal with my new life-threatening illness.

At that exact moment of realization, I burst into tears because I knew that I was now alone in a scary unfamiliar new world, the world of cancer. I shared that exact thought with everyone there, but what could they say? They didn’t know what I was feeling. They could only give me their empathy and love, but I needed much, much more. When they left, I cried myself to sleep.

Feeling like you no longer relate to your peers can make you very emotional and it adds additional stress to everything else you are going through. Sometimes, you might feel angry, sad or alone.

The good news is that you don’t have to feel alone. You might not realize it then but when you are ready, you will. What I mean by that is, whatever it is that you are suffering from, more than likely someone else is also going through it too. That other person is either feeling the way you are or felt that way before. What better person is there to talk to?

Reaching out to someone can be a scary thing to do because doing so confirms your reality, but the sooner you deal with it, the faster you can help yourself through it.

Sadly, I had a negative experience when I first reached out to someone with cancer but, to be honest, it became one of the reasons I decided to start my non-profit “Beating Cancer In Heels.” Perhaps it wasn’t that negative after all.

When I did find the right survivors to speak with, I truly felt a connection unlike any other. This feeling came over me that I was finally surrounded by people who understood and welcomed me without feeling any judgment. These relationships got me through some of my toughest moments, and you my coachee, deserve that type of support too.

How do you know when you are ready to reach out for support?

Ask yourself…Do I desire to speak with someone that understands my feelings?

Suggestion: Look into social networks or nonprofit organizations that cater to people with similar issues. For example, Beating Cancer In Heels a nonprofit dedicated to the empowerment of young women with cancer.

Empowerment: I believe in my strength, my goals and myself. I know that the support that I am seeking to fulfill them starts with me.

Inspiration for the week: Look up young HIV activist Marvelyn Brown. Her story and book The Naked Truth changed my life. www.marvelynbrown.com

Calming sentence of the week: I will get myself through this one step at a time.

That’s it for today, Coachee! Stay tuned for more tips from your Life Coach Marlena!

If you are interested in being coached one on one please contact me at Marlena@MarlenaLC.com. You can also follow me on Facebook, Marlena Ortiz.