Beating Cancer in Heels: Why doesn’t any one get it?

I don’t know about you but communication in my early twenties was not something that I had mastered. I guess I didn’t think I needed to communicate much due to the fact that I thought the guys I went out with should be able to read my mind and my friends should know enough to know how to deal with me.

So, basically guys were supposed to have psychic powers and my girlfriends were supposed to come with a psychology degree. Talk about expecting a lot!

At that time in my life, talking about my feelings and the support that I needed felt completely and utterly impossible. The simple thought of having to express myself was overwhelming.

This caused me to bottle up my feelings, so that by the time I would try to express myself, Niagara Falls-like tears rushed down my face. Now knowing this, could you imagine how I acted when I was diagnosed with cancer? Let’s just say it was an emotional roller coaster that no one wanted to ride.

When diagnosed with a life-threatening illness at such a young age, you would think that people would know to try to learn what my needs were at that moment. I mean, how could they not when you are obviously fighting for your life? Well, I hate to burst your bubble, Coachee, but if you do think that, you might be in for a rude awakening.

It’s no ones fault for not understanding what you need or don’t need from them because they couldn’t possibly understand your exhaustive ongoing suffering. In fact, they might be dealing with their suffering aside from coping with yours.

Don’t waste another minute worrying, because it never helps– plus your Life Coach is here to help. The good news is that you can motivate your loved ones to help you by just simply working on your communication skills. Not everyone GET’S IT right away, so let me coach you through it!

Think of the last time you communicated your feelings.

Now ask yourself…

How did it feel?

What was the end result?

In what way did you communicate your feelings?

What could you have done differently?

Now take what you learned to better prepare for your next conversation.

Ask yourself some additional questions.

What am I trying to communicate to this person?

How can I make myself more aware of the other person’s feelings?

How can I hold myself accountable for conducting this conversation?

Tip: Practice having the conversation alone or with someone you trust.

Empowerment: If you don’t ask, you will never know.

What if I don’t get the response I need? Don’t let this break you. Think of a plan B.

Ask yourself…

Who else can I reach out to?

What other recourses are out there to help me?

Tip: Speak to your social workers, therapist or Life Coach to help you discover a plan B.

Empowerment: If it is meant to be, it is up to me.

Inspiration for the week: Listen to Dr. Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech. Had he not communicated his hopes, vision and dreams, could you imagine what kind of awful place we would live in? One man changed the world, which means you can most definitely change yours.

Calming sentence of the week: Not everyone gets it and not everyone should.

That’s it for today, Coachee! Stay tuned for more tips from your Life Coach Marlena!

If you are interested in being coached one on one please contact me at Marlena@MarlenaLC.com. You can also follow me on Facebook, Marlena Ortiz.