Beating Cancer in Heels: Why me?

During my fight with cancer, I asked myself, “Why me? Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? What bad choice did I make in this short-lived life to get me to this terrifying place?” This was absolutely not in my five-year plan.

When these moments of rage and sadness came over me, I reached out to an old friend/coworker of mine. I knew that her mother had breast cancer, so I felt comfortable talking to her about it. The conversation went like this…

Me: Why me?

Friend: Why anyone?

She blew my mind with such a simple response and changed my perspective immediately. Who was I to think that someone else deserved this more than me? What made me feel so entitled to have a smooth sailing life? I realized these questions showed me I was still a very young-minded individual.

Sadly, age has nothing to do with this dilemma but DON’T WORRY; as we gain life experience, we learn that we are safe from nothing but yet we are POWERFUL enough to deal with everything. YES, coachee, you are! You just might not realize it right now.

Feeling less self-centered, I decided to try to act less like a victim and more like a “champion”(as my Coach/Mentor would describe me). I started to stop asking “why me?” and replaced it with the question “What can I do about this now?”

Doing so gave me new insight on how to be victorious through this unfamiliar and traumatic process. Like I always say, it’s not easy and it doesn’t happen overnight. However, when you learn how to change your questions, you will start utilizing your inner strength. That alone will change your world considerably; besides what do you have to lose?

Listen up, my powerful Coachee. I believe in you and all that you are capable of achieving. I believe that on your worst days, YOU have the ability to find something amazing happening whether it involves you or NOT. Knowing that there are positive moments happening in life can give you the motivation to want really to live it.

Why do you think those feel-good reality television shows do so well? We all want to experience heartfelt moments that might reconnect us to some hope and faith. Which is exactly what I decided to name my two white doves (I adopted these beautiful doves because my biological clock was ticking and I wanted something to nurture). Hope and Faith remind me of what mindset to keep always throughout my life.

Let’s leave the pity party and throw our own. We will fill it with CHAMPIONS just like you!! I will bring the wine and veggie platter.

When you see yourself opening the door to the pity party ask yourself…
What is provoking me to feel bad for myself?
How do the “pity thoughts” help me?

Tip: Write out your thoughts and let them flow. In time, you will see a shift.

Empowerment: It starts with YOU!
How do I hold myself accountable?

Ask yourself…
Do the people I surround myself give me strength?
Do I express to them the kind of support that I need at this time?

Tip: Let the closest people to you know when you need them to build you up.

Empowerment: There are seven days in a week and someday isn’t one of them.

Inspiration for the week: Two words… Anne Frank.

Calming sentence of the week: Just breathe.

That’s it for today, Coachee! Stay tuned for more tips from your Life Coach Marlena!

If you are interested in being coached one on one, please contact me at Marlena@MarlenaLC.com. You can also follow me on Facebook, Marlena Ortiz.