For some, one of the gifts that come from being diagnosed with a life-threatening Illness is the deep connection it brings you to life and the people in it. When you personally suffer, you quickly realize just how many more others are suffering in this world.
It’s as if all of a sudden you are connected to all the pain you see or hear about and you just can’t help but suffer a little with them. This emotion of empathy can take a toll on you if you can’t shake yourself out of it. Trust me, I know, but don’t worry because I will coach you through it.
Women who felt sympathy for every person that they felt was suffering in some way raised me. They would literally see the person and say pobrecito, which means poor thing in Spanish. We couldn’t eat, walk or talk without taking a moment to sympathize with others.
These women suffered a lot in their lives and because of that they felt a deeper connection with any pain that they witnessed. I of coursed picked up this level of awareness but never as much as when I diagnosed with cancer. I remember the first time I cried during my chemo treatments was when I was a 21-year-old sitting down to get ready to receive her cancer treatments. I lost it!
I tried to channel my connection by helping other young women diagnosed with cancer, but I still couldn’t shake off all the suffering I would see with my own eyes and hear with my own ears. I knew I couldn’t help everyone but I couldn’t help but let it affect my spirit.
When I expressed this to my therapist, his words to me were, “You feeling sorry for someone isn’t going to help them.” As much as I didn’t want to hear that, I needed to because he was right. I now had to work on a balance of helping others, feeling empathy without getting the life sucked out of me and still see all the happiness in the world.
You, my coachee, might be feeling overwhelmed with the deep connection you have with all the pain in the world and that awakening is a beautiful thing. If you channel it along with manage it, you can make a world of a difference in your life and in the life of others.
We are all connected in this life and it is what we do with that knowledge that helps define us. Could I imagine a world in which we all felt connected with each other? I can and I still hope for it.
Now Coachee, let’s manage your sympathy.
Ask yourself…
Do I want to help the people with whom I sympathize?
If so, in what way?
How can I help myself not lose my sense of self when I am connecting with others?
What can I do not to allow it to overwhelm my entire day?
Empowerment tip: The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us but those who win battles we know nothing about.
Inspiration for the week: IF they can get through it so can we! http://www.peacecorps.gov/
Calming sentence of the week: Everyone has their own journey and I have to accept that.
If you are interested in being coached one on one, please contact me at Marlena@MarlenaLC.com. You can also follow me on Facebook, Marlena Ortiz.
REMEMBER: Women between the ages of 20-40 diagnosed with cancer get six free coaching sessions through the nonprofit BeatingCancerInHeels.org.
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