Muffin’s Pet Connection: Princess needs a home

HELLO JUDE: “My name is Princess. I am a beautiful four-year-old female cat with soft black hair and gorgeous green eyes. I am spayed and up to date on my vaccines.

“I am looking for a family with children and other pets. I love kids and get along great with other cats and dogs. Please call Rita, my foster mom, and come and visit, and you will surrender your heart to me. I promise to take good care of it. Meeeows.” Call 646-267-9876.

HEY JUDE: I am having a situation at work, please guide me. I trust your knowledge. I read your column all the time. My colleagues are ganging up on me, screaming that I have to fix my cats. We are nurses and take the oath to do no harm. I am the head nurse.

“I love my cats and would never hurt them. But those nosey people will not mind their own business. One in particular, an animal activist, insists that I am doing wrong by my babies. They are brother and sister. I have raised them since they were six weeks old and now they are eight months old.

“Jeffy-Weffy grabs Sally-Tally by the neck, and mounts her. She screams and when she has had enough of his rough play, she tosses him off her back. They are playing. I see nothing wrong with his actions. What’s the big deal?” — Nurse Cynthia, Bay Ridge

EMERGENCY ALARM: This is an accident about to happen. Cynthia, Jeffy-Weffy is mating with his sister. He is old enough to make babies and she is old enough to conceive. Please, get her spayed and him neutered immediately. Brothers and sisters mating is incest. They do not know that they are related; they follow their primal instinct. Their offspring are usually born with some sort of abnormality because the blood line is to close. Please call me for the alerting certificates: 718-833-7988.

DOG TREAT RECALL: Hartz Mountain Chicken Chews, Oinkies Pig Skin Twists with Chicken issued a nationwide U.S. recall after testing found trace amounts of antibiotic residue in some dog treats. Consumers who have purchased the products should contact Hartz Consumer Affairs team at 1-800-275-1414.