Beating Cancer in Heels: What memories do you want to leave behind?

Sadly, I attended two funerals this week and at the same time I found out that another young survivor sister had past away. For me, death was back to back and it caused me to do a lot of thinking. I thought about the lives of these people, what death does to the living and also what death has to offer them.

Seeing firsthand a woman who lost her husband after over 50 years of being together just broke my heart. The way they loved each other for so long seems like the happily-ever-after story that we all long for.

Since I don’t have that yet, I found myself thinking about what it must be like to love like that and then have it physically taken away after so many years. I started to look at their photos and thought to myself how lucky they were to find each other and have each other for so long. I wanted to say something to this wonderful woman but I didn’t know what.

Then I realized, one could never hurt so much unless one loved that much. What a special life gift to experience a feeling that could never be put into words. Some never get to experience that at all and some that do, don’t get to keep it for that long. This couple was blessed.

Quickly, my negative thoughts kicked in and I thought to myself, will I experience a love that will last for decades? Sometimes I think I protect myself from the deepest of loves because I am scared of either being taken away so soon or losing my love to death. This is one of the many realizations and fears that cancer gives you.

After all the self reflecting and observing, I realized that best part of death is the memories you leave behind and the best part of living is experiencing them.

We cannot live forever and we shouldn’t because we need to experience loss to understand the importance of being. While the pain of losing someone hurts like hell, what would hurt more is if we never got to experience that person.

Whether or not you want to admit it, we are who we are because of the people we surround ourselves with. With that said, we never leave the earth, we just live on in different forms.

So I ask you, Coachee, what memories do you want to leave behind?

What do you want to look back at and be glad that you did?

What would you regret not experiencing in your lifetime?

What changes do you want to make in this world?

What legacy do you want to leave behind?

Life Coach TIP: Don’t put limitations on the life you want to live.

Empowerment: Experience much so that you can leave behind many memories.

Calming sentence of the week: I might not know when my time will end but what I do know is that it hasn’t happened right now.

That’s it for today, Coachee! Stay tuned for more tips and stories from your Life Coach Marlena!

If you are interested in being coached one on one or group coaching with FRIENDS, please contact me at You can also follow me on Facebook, Beating Cancer In Heels & Marlena Ortiz.

REMEMBER: Women between the ages of 20 and 40 diagnosed with cancer get six free coaching sessions through the nonprofit

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