The power of holding onto a grudge is a lot stronger than some of us realize. When we hold onto anger and pain, we only hurt ourselves, while the other person has no clue how much you are suffering. What is the benefit of that for you? If anything, it benefits the person who you believe to have caused the pain.
When faced with life and death (like I say many times), your perceptions shift to a place that I can write a book about! In time, you realize how something such as pain is not worth holding onto.
The pain of holding onto a grudge or not trying to take the time out to understand the perspective of the person that hurt you doesn’t help anyone. While that doesn’t mean you have to let that person back into your life or all of a sudden agree with his or her actions, it means you can give yourself a chance to create inner peace.
Years later, I still hold onto some of the pain that people caused me when I was fighting for my life. People leaving my life due to cancer or hurting me when I was going though it all, is something that I was unable to wrap my head around.
Then I remember, we were all young and I was the one who had to grow really fast. While I don’t agree with their actions and can’t think of another situation worse than for a person to kick you while you are down, holding onto that anger hasn’t made things much more better for me.
While I learned who was worth holding onto and the true colors of that person in that point in time, holding onto the pain of that rude awakening is worth nothing. It doesn’t change who they are, it doesn’t lesson the suffering and it doesn’t change that memory.
Holding onto that anger can cause you to take it into other relationships, never forgive or worse not start new ones. Instead, take pride in the fact that you learned something and you can now look out for the qualities you require in your new relationships.
So, breathe because life teaches lessons and we must trust in our ability to learn. Some people will learn from the lessons and others will not. That’s not something you should waste time wondering about.
You need to learn from your OWN lessons and create inner peace with yourself in knowing that while no one is perfect, not everyone is, has to be or should be a part of your inner circle.
Now Coachee, let’s start letting go of your grudges!
Ask yourself…
Does holding on to this grudge add value to my life?
How can I start to let go of this pain?
What will moving past this do for me?
Who had the power of your emotions?
Life Coach TIP… Write a letting-go letter to the grudge you are holding on to.
Empowerment… “Truth is everyone is going to hurt you. You just to find the ones worth suffering for.” — Bob Marley
Calming sentence of the week… If I fall down, I will get back up again.
That’s it for today, Coachee! Stay tuned for more tips and stories from your Life Coach Marlena!
If you are interested in being coached one on one or group coaching with FRIENDS, please contact me at Marlena@MarlenaLC.com. You can also follow me on Facebook, Beating Cancer In Heels and Marlena Ortiz.
REMEMBER: Women between the ages of 20-40 diagnosed with cancer get six free coaching sessions through the nonprofit BeatingCancerInHeels.org.
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